How to feel your feelings

It’s easy to sweep away feelings under the rug and pretend they don’t exist, but this will cause more problems than it solves. Some emotions are meant to be felt, and when you feel them consciously and express them effectively, you can often solve problems that seem insoluble with traditional problem-solving techniques. If you want to feel your feelings on purpose to move and overcome them, these ten ways to feel your feelings can help you get there.

10 ways to feel your feelings

1. Be present

Man sitting on the hill, lost in meditation

When you focus on feelings, it’s easy to get distracted and think about how you want a situation to develop or what you want to happen next. For example, if someone calls you, it’s natural for your thoughts to go and wonder what you’re feeling or why you’re upset. When that happens, take a step back from your interpretation of their words or actions and stay in touch with your immediate feelings. How do you feel Do you feel tightness in your chest? Are there butterflies in your stomach? Keep in mind to breathe slowly and deeply as you listen to what they have to say. If possible, try saying something like, “I’m sorry I didn’t understand. Can you explain more?” This will help keep things focused on them rather than getting lost in the interpretation of their tone or body language.

Meditation can also help you to be more present, to experience the moment and to notice the emotions that come out. We recommend a simple guided mindfulness meditation practice from our meditation app, Declutter The Mind.

2. Use affirmations

For example, when you are sad, remember: I am a person who feels sad and does not let that feeling control me. Positive affirmations and motivational affirmations give you power over your feelings rather than your feelings controlling you. Just knowing that you have choices about how to react can help calm some of these negative emotions and lead to positive thoughts and actions. While affirmations may not fix everything overnight, they can be complacent in changing your mood for better or worse.

If you’re stuck in a routine, try using a statement to help change your attitude for the better. If you find yourself saying things like I’m always so angry, try using a statement as if you choose to feel happy. It is difficult at first, but with practice, it will become easier and easier to become second nature. The more you use them, the more effective they will be. Also, be sure to notice what happens when you use them. Are you starting to feel happier? Or are there other factors at stake? Also note these observations. Maybe you don’t think your statement is true, or you’re having a bad day and have to wait until tomorrow to try again.

3. Take the time to think about it

Woman sitting lost in her thoughts

When you’re going through a difficult experience, the emotions can be overwhelming and incredibly raw. It’s okay, even okay, to feel those emotions deeply and passionately. But you need to take a moment to sit down with your thoughts and feelings so that they have a chance to sink completely. Take a moment alone if possible, think about what happened or why you feel the way you feel, then process these feelings in the way that suits you best: write in a diary, take a long walk outside, talk -with someone close (or at least listen). Anything that helps your mind process what happened. Taking time after an emotional event is as important as taking time while it’s still happening. You don’t want to miss anything. You want all these emotions to settle down and make sense. Then you will be able to see things more clearly and deal with them effectively. And who knows? Perhaps if you think about it, you will find something positive about your experiences. Maybe there will be something to learn from what happened. Or you may realize that there is nothing worth worrying about.

4. Practice letting go

Letting go is an important part of being able to feel our feelings, and for some people, it can be one of their biggest challenges. We are wired for years of social conditioning so as not to show vulnerability or anger, especially in public places, and this can make it difficult for us not only to feel our feelings but even to identify them in ourselves. If you want to learn how to feel your feelings, you must first know how and why we bottle them. Identifying your emotions is not always easy; they don’t always come with an obvious physical signal. Because our feelings are so closely tied to judgment, it is often difficult for us to feel what we are really experiencing.

5. Get out of your head

For many of us, feelings can be difficult to identify and even more difficult to talk about. However, feelings are essential to understanding ourselves and others, and they are very important when it comes to making decisions. So the next time you feel confused or frustrated by a situation, try to get out of your head and into your body. Think about how you feel physically, your stomach may be tight, or your heart may be racing, and then find out what this physical feeling means in terms of what’s going on emotionally. You may realize that you are angry with someone or scared of something that has not yet happened. Whatever emotion you feel is valid, so don’t worry if it’s not what you expect. It just makes you curious. Once you’ve figured out what’s going on inside you, it’s easier to deal with what’s going on around you.

6. Ask for help

A woman helping another woman feel her feelings

When you feel depressed, it can be easy to withdraw and isolate yourself. But sometimes when we try to feel better alone, it just makes us feel worse. It’s important to talk to someone who cares about you and can help you. If you do not have anyone in your life who fits this description, contact a professional counselor or therapist. They will listen to you and take care of you while helping you to guide you through your feelings. You may even start to feel better just by talking about things. Sharing what you are going through can take away some of your power. So ask for help.

7. Don’t judge yourself by feeling

Instead of judging yourself for feeling negative emotions, treat those feelings to indicate that you are human. You just have to be more discriminating with the help you render toward other people. If you think about it, it’s pretty amazing how humans can experience so many emotions in such a short time. The ability to feel and process such a wide range of emotions is what makes us so amazing. The next time you have an intense feeling or negative thoughts, try not to judge yourself or tell yourself that you have to feel different. Look at your inner critic. Just acknowledge what’s going on inside your body and mind at the moment and acknowledge that it’s okay for humans to feel what we feel at a given time.

8. Let yourself be surprised

Surprises are nice and exciting, but they are also a way of looking at us from a different perspective. We can discover what really matters when we are suddenly given new information about our environment or when circumstances force us to get out of our normal routines. It may sound amazing, but you can afford to feel surprised from time to time without feeling like your whole life is sinking. Just get used to it first. The best thing about surprises is that you don’t have to look for them; they come looking for you. So if you feel like something spontaneous, try not to think about it too much. Just let it go.

9. Focus more on others than on yourself

Woman helping an elderly man in a wheelchair

Studies have shown that our levels of empathy can fluctuate depending on how we feel and think. For example, people who are anxious or depressed often do not pick up on other people’s signals as well as they should. If you find that emotions such as anxiety or depression are affecting your level of empathy, it may be helpful to seek help. But whether you need it or not, spending time each day reflecting on others will keep your empathic abilities strong and healthy. If you’re interested in better understanding the feelings of others, but don’t know where to start, a good way is to simply ask questions like How do you feel? You may be surprised at how freely people open up when this question is asked. Another great tip is to listen more than you talk. Listening helps us empathize with others because it allows us to hear first hand their experiences and see things from their perspective.

10. Trust what you already know

No one can really understand how you feel; they only have their personal experience with which to relate. They are trying to help, but not everyone is able or willing to do it. In these situations, it’s important to acknowledge this fact and then rely on what you already know: “This situation sucks, and I want it to stop. I want this person or circumstance out of my life. I don’t deserve these feelings, experiences, thoughts and emotions. All of these things make me feel miserable and / or angry. ” Even if you can’t make them disappear and sometimes there’s no logical reason for them to do so. You have the right to feel the way you do and to act accordingly.


The hardest part about dealing with our feelings is that we are so afraid of them. This is what makes our feelings so frightening. But being scared is not enough reason not to feel something, even if it feels bad, especially if it feels bad. Emotions can be complicated, they can zigzag, and they can come and go without warning, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t real. The next time something overwhelms you, whether it’s negative or positive, take a moment and ask yourself: Do I want to hear my feelings right now?

#feel #feelings

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